And I'm A Little Bit Rusty

More time-travelling done today. Had this nice time with a friend from way back at some mall I used to frequent when I was a kid, and all I remembered about her was her name. It was the first time in ages that I had enjoyed the simple things like strolling and stuff. Got to at least buy my mom some snacks, which is really way off my attitude meter for the family. I can now converse with my big brother with ease, and had time off with my childhood friends residing here as well. It's weird how time flies by, as one of them mentioned how technology had just changed within five years. All the while, my worries were about what to do in the next couple o'years, planning and staging alone about how to do all of these step by step. I guess time already caught up with me too.

Memories came rushing back to my head. High school stuff, 90's music, how short my hair was, dreams that were supposed to be fulfilled by this time, church life, every single damn thing. It's now making me think all over again.

"It's 3 am, I must be...", for some reason why, I can't continue what Rob Thomas said after that. It didn't seem like it, yet, circumstances aside, reality bites, the rain's gonna wash it away anyway. Is happiness really a mat that sits on that doorway? I'm letting myself rant about something that is not supposed to exist in my head.

And then, I heard a pretty familiar tune on Youtube. The song was supposed to be filled with angst, but it was made into a lively, happy song. The song I heard was from Matchbox 20, entitled Push. The usual melody was downtrodden, sad. But this one that they performed live, it had a Southern, Texan feel to it. It was played with a very happy and upbeat feel to it, contradicting how it usually sounds. I mean, wow. That's weird. It made me smile. It somehow changed how I saw things.

I learned from those five minutes of watching random stuff. And it helped. Even though the world shows you a mean face, you can always interpret the world in a different light so you won't be bothered by all that and continue with trying to find that smile you deserve. And hell, it felt good.